Tongue-in-cheek- Doctors... make yourselves useful

Amongst the various stakeholders who exists in the pharmaceutical industry, doctors are undeniably the single most important. without doctors, there can be no pharma.

Pharma and doctors share a highly ambivalent relationship. pharma represents commercialization and profits, while doctors are synonymous with ethical and moral impartiality. but the reality always tend to lie in the grey between black and white.

Doctors rely on pharmas to provide educational grants and financial support towards research in the pursuit of clinical exellence while pharmas are dependent on doctors to prescribe and endorse their products. How these objectives are achieved by either parties are sometimes not as straightforward as it appears. One thing, however, is certain. the two are unable to exist without each other. whether anyone like it or not, it is a perfectly symbiotic relationship.

In this industry, client servicing is arguably the most critical element in ensuring positive sales output. doctors are a diverse bunch and reps are often very adept at profiling and dealing with them.

Some companies employ complex programs in the profiling of doctors, but i prefer to liken them to common household items:

The Sponge- You know this type, the one who will graciously open the door to his office to you, engage in friendly banter and flashing his wide grin throughout the sales call. Just as you are about to let your guard down, he asks if your company is taking anyone ( meaning him) to so-and-so conference in europe this year. every visit will be followed by a request (suck, suck, suck) for a regional sponsorship, lunch, golf game, printing of his clinic namecard, new stethescope, all your samples, pens, your lunch box...

Leaky tap- usually a GP during his lull period. before you have the chance to introduce yourself, he will be showing you around his empty, barren clinic, lamenting about the bad economy, inflation, high rental/overheads, poor patient load, etc. His sob stories are so excrutiatingly painful that you'll end up buying a bottle of vitamins/milk powder/wound dressing from him so that he'll let you off.

The Kettle- there is bound to be one in every product's KOL list. this demanding doctor needs plenty of attention that you have to keep watch 24/7 over him. he has such a low boiling point that he is constantly blowing steam. and when u do not react in time to switch off the antagonizing factor, you will be sure he will be making hellava lot of noise.

The Dettol- tends to be a specialist practising in a public hospital. may be a policy maker or has high influence level in the hospital. has a purist streak that causes him to drone on and on about the importance of evidence-base-medicine, shooting off references from clinical trials, clinical guidelines, etc. craves to be perceived as a academic and will often adopt a moral high ground when dealing with pharma whom he considers as a toxic contaminant to be eradicated.

The Crystal Ware- reps require special prior approval from the bosses before taking this doctor out for a simple lunch. for this high-maintenance doctor, there is NO simple lunches. most of their clinics are located at Mt Elizabeth and the favourite place du jour is iggys at regent or tatsuya at crown prince hotel. no meal is complete without a 1978 vintage bordeux or a nicely brewed sake. don't even think of getting a glimpse of this doctor if your A&P is not within the top 10.

The toothpaste (aka squeezer)- ahhh...i shan't go on. we are all pretty familiar with this one.